Perspective

I was on the phone with my parents the other day and my mother brought up the topic of this blog. She told me vehemently to stop writing this blog. Since I never told her about writing this blog, I realized that she found out from one of my sisters. Just her tone of voice made me realize where this vehemence is coming from.

My parents were people who lived through the turmoil of the World War II and the Communist revolution. They experience the former on mainland China and the latter in Taiwan. These are people who left China precisely because of the turmoil that was going on. I would say that they were lucky (and so were me and my two sisters) to have left China at that time for Taiwan. Some of the most tumultuous times occurred after the rise of the Communist Party led by Mao Zedong. This played out on a stage that I am sure captivated not only the mainland Chinese but all of the overseas Chinese as well.

My parents are a product of that environment. I think for any ethnic Chinese living or not living on the mainland the most horrifying period must have been the Cultural Revolution. This is a period of time where rights were taken away and people faced persecution from their peers for saying or believing the wrong things.

I think it is from that perspective that my mother gave me that kind of reaction about my blog. Somehow, I think her perspective about China will never change no matter how great the changes are. In some ways, I find this to be true in China even to this day. Even though much has changed I still feel the distrust the citizens of China has for their government, especially among the middle aged and elderly. It is not always obvious, but every once in a while you hear or see something that makes you think.

Being in Taiwan for the first 6 years of my life then growing up in America, I also heard plenty of bad things about mainland China. Just before my first visit in China in 2002, I had trepidation about what I would say to people during the trip because all that I have heard from my parents. But during the trip, I found that things were quite different from what I perceived. Then I spend 6 weeks backpacking in China in 2005 and again no obvious evidence of this oppressive regime that I heard so much about. Now having lived here in China for over a year, again I don't notice anything in my everyday life. I know that the Chinese government will censor the internet and other modes of communication that they deemed to be bad for the "harmony" of the country. This is not always obvious in everyday life. I think that there is certainly a degree of control that the Chinese government will exert on the population, however it is not the same China as it was 30 years ago.

Grace is one of my co-workers here in China who told me of an interesting experience. Grace is a middle aged Shanghainese woman who had spent her entire life here in Shanghai. I would categorize her as a middle class person with a husband and a grown daughter who lives a comfortable life. She went to America - Los Angeles for the first time in her life a few years ago for training. She took the opportunity to take a few extra days to do some sightseeing and joined a city tour of Los Angeles. In the tour group she was the only person from mainland China and everyone else were Chinese-Americans who were probably around my mother's age (60's). These were probably first generation immigrants to America who became naturalized citizens. They noticed immediately that Grace was from mainland China and became friendly with her during that day. At the end of the day right before they said good-bye, a few people in the group told her that she already made it this far (meaning she somehow got herself out of China) and that she should just stay in America. They told her that they know people who can help her to settle in America. I think these people somehow saw Grace symbolizing relatives that they left behind in China and that she was still living in that horrible world that they had left. Grace was amused and politely turned down their offer. She had friends, family and a comfortable life waiting for her in Shanghai. This just show you that as you gain perspective on things surprising results will follow.

Despite my mother's warnings, I will continue to maintain this blog as I value the freedom of speech too much. I also know that I am operating under a different China so I would not expect to be arrested for writing on topics that I am writing about. However, what I will take from my mother's comments is that a degree of vigilance is always something one should maintain.

the road warrior

Two weeks ago, I met up with a former co-worker, John who was passing through Shanghai in the midst of an extended hiatus.

Me and John were co-workers at a prestigious investment bank's IT department on Wall Street. The culture at that firm was work, work and more work. Both me and John are about the same age and we both left the firm in the same year. We both had an extended hiatus traveling the world. In my case it was 5 months in Asia, for John it has been over 2 years and counting.

I think we have this in common because we are both in our mid 30's and it is a time where people like us have a good deal of work experience and many battle scars to show for it. It is a time in one's life where one is done proving oneself at the workplace. Some people get burned out and I guess we are in that group.

When I was traveling with my wife for those 5 months in Asia, it was the most liberating experience in my life. Just seeing parts of the world that are so unfamiliar from home was such an eye-opening experience. I don't think I view things in the same way ever since. In many ways that experience has continued here in Shanghai.

As for John, he is not done traveling after over 2 years. He plans to continue traveling for another year before settling down to "regular" life. It would be safe to say "regular" life would never be the same.

Me and my wife have talked about possibly taking another break after we get our fill of Shanghai sometime in our future. My belief is that since you only live once, you might as well get the most out of it.

Westerization of Shanghai

Sure you expect to see Starbucks, McDonalds and even Pizza Hut over here in Shanghai, but Cold Stone Ice Cream?

Tipping

One of the things that I have gotten use to very quickly in China is that when you dine at the restaurant, the price you pay is the price on the menu. No extra tax nor extras for tip. Now the opinions that I will espouse will probably offend some people in the food service industry in America or the personal services in general - but why do we in America reward individuals for doing their jobs?

I hear the excuses all of the time from Americans - "oh the waiters depend on the tips for their income". How is it now my responsibility as a patron of the restaurant to pay them if their employers decided that they can get away with paying them below minimum wage? Why don't the restaurant owners just pay the waiters their fair share and price them into the meal instead of giving us the bait and switch?

Here in China if you were to try to tip waiters in restaurants or at the hair salon you will get a confused response. They have no idea what you are trying to do. They don't expect anything more for doing their jobs. Most of the time they will not accept the tip.

As I made my way through early adulthood in America, I was never struck at how ridiculous tipping was until I purchased my first co-op apartment. As Christmas time came, I get this Christmas card from the co-op. It gave the name of every employee my apartment complex from the doorman, to the main super to the assistant super to the porter to the landscaper, etc. All in total about 25 names on the card. Now I am suppose to figure out how much to tip these people when I had only come in contact with the doorman that year. So is the idea that this is a threat where if you don't take care of the others this year that if something goes wrong in the future you will get sub-par service?

To me tipping is an elitist idea, but the funny thing is that some in America actually think that tipping is a way to help out the working class. I have no doubt that the waiter or the doorman does not make much money, but why don't their employers just pay them their just pay and be done with it? Tipping only causes the working class to give preferential treatment to the the rich who can afford to tip more. So if you really think about that then you realize what tipping is all about. If everyone stopped tipping waiters, don't you think the laws of supply and demand will kick in? Without that tip less people will want to be waiters and the restaurants owners would have to raise the salaries to entice people to the job. With this extra cost, restaurants will charge extra for the meals and everything finds its equilibrium again.

Sometime things are so simple and yet we make them so complicated.